So. You’ve heard about all the positive results of meditation but you are hesitant to try. Or maybe you’re not even sure where to begin. I feel you – that was me for a long time. I had read articles and been encouraged by friends, but when I thought about it, I immediately closed off, got tense, or worried about “doing it right.” And the idea of MY mind not thinking? That just seemed impossible.
First I tried those free guided meditations, which told me to “just observe the thoughts come into the mind, and then watch them float on a leaf down the river.” This sounds nice in theory, but the thought would sink into my mind, I would fully analyze it before it got onto that leaf, and then I would yell at myself for not just placing it faster on that allegedly durable and quick-floating leaf.
Next, I decided to go to a group meditation class at a yoga studio last January, right before my yoga teacher training. I was so nervous. What did I think was going to happen? Not really sure what I was so scared of… Maybe my perfectionism was coming into play, knowing I wouldn’t be “good” at meditation. As millions of yogis exclaim in unison (calmly, I’d imagine), you’re missing the whole point of meditation! You can’t be good or bad at it. It just is – and there is no grade or performance review at the end.
The teacher began leading us with a specific type of breath going up and down our bodies. Don’t ask me what kind, because even though I was always a good student and love learning, I allowed myself to be distracted by someone trampling in 8 full minutes late, just as I was starting to feel zen. (yes, I am embarrassed to admit I checked my watch to see the time)
Next, we did some easy gentle breath work using asanas (yoga poses) The teacher then told us to get in a position where we could comfortably sit still and maintain for 30 minutes. Wait, what?! I asked myself. A half hour sitting still?! Had I ever done this in my life?! Well, nothing painful has happened so far, and I am actually feeling quite relaxed at this point, so I may as well try it. The teacher guided us through some pranayama (breathe work) for around twelve minutes. (No, I wasn’t looking at my watch at this point, but he said we would be meditating on our own for 18 of the 30 minutes so, basic math).
Then it happened. The 18 minutes of silence. When recommending meditation, people have advised that you start small, by sitting in silence for one minute, then two minutes, then gradually building yourself up. So 18 minutes in my first attempt… that was pretty intense. I calmly told myself, it’s ok, just go as long as I can. I remember focusing on nothing and simply observing my thoughts and sending them on that still impressively strong floating leaf. And then, after around ten minutes, I cut myself slack for processing a thought fully, not even realizing I was doing it until the thought was almost past.
Finally, we were instructed to make our way into savasana – yes! I thought, I got this – I’ve been able to “master” not thinking about much during the 2-3 minutes at the end of every yoga class. Although, it may be tough after the 18 minutes of sitting in silence, but I won’t overthink that point!
As you can see, there is a lot for us to learn about yoga and meditation, but I know that it can help us living in the real world have happy and productive lives, where we are more present in the moment for ourselves and for our loved ones. I hope you enjoy learning with me, and I plan to share it all in a way that makes sense to the everyday person. I also will share lessons I have learned in life in general, through struggles and challenges, and reflect them a way that may resonate with you in some way. Looking forward to this lifelong journey!